Vajavoda

Poetry, a simple life.

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Paradise from Ashes by Vajavoda, literature

Literature

Paradise from Ashes

Where can I go to escape the hell inside A place I can find to keep out all the doubt My paradise where dreams have not died And happiness is no longer in drought Is such a place I need even real Will I ever find it through all this fog It is still missing on even keel With every aching step a slog I will chase every glimmer of light Go through every struggle and pain Climb up to any inhospitable height Even through all the blistering strain If I can just take one step into paradise That place I see any time I can dream If fate decides that I just do not suffice And not even give me just a gleam Then I will just have to burn it all down Incinerate all of this trash I’ll make this world drown Choking to death on ash If I cannot have it If they try to keep it from me I still will not submit I will just make my own from the debris.

A Bleeding Heart by Vajavoda, literature

Literature

A Bleeding Heart

A titanic spirit within A broken smile without My dry, cracked skin Caused by loves drought I wait for the yelling to begin The crash of the hateful shout Like a fist smashing my chin Stabbing my heart with doubt Try to keep up my masked grin Won’t let the tears break out Try to ignore the angry din I will not let myself rout Even as I feel my head spin And my heart starts to give out I’ll take it all so you think you win Cause still for you I am devout.

So Tired of Day to Day by Vajavoda, literature

Literature

So Tired of Day to Day

I’m tired of all this pain I’m tired of day to day I’m tired of this broken brain I’m tired of trying to downplay I don’t feel like I’m sane How else can I convey I try to feel and I strain My mind is affray When I try to explain They just quietly walk away My true self I must contain Who I am I cannot display This coldness inside is my bane It always leads me astray Keeps me walking alone in the rain Where only I can see the pathway I look out to the sides in vain Not a single person in the doorway And if I try to step off this lane I find I cannot stop or disobey This darkness is like a chain So heav

Turning Tides on Quiet Nights by Vajavoda, literature

Literature

Turning Tides on Quiet Nights

Another lonely night To be followed by a silent dream Another time to write If only to hold in the scream Silent in my plight From which no one can gleam Just how much blight Follows even in my daydream Surrounded by light But I cannot redeem Sins so horrid and trite Follow like a stream No matter how polite No matter my esteem It is like a birthright Some never-ending scheme My desiccated heart is contrite My apologies are not what they seem I have not been entirely forthright Because madness will always be my regime.

One More Last Sunrise by Vajavoda, literature

Literature

One More Last Sunrise

This depression is like my shadow Always whispering to me with lies With time I watch it grow My sanity is its prize No matter where I try to go Behind me it always spies Like a tormenting crow Laughing from the skies Every wishful thought I throw Goes up and simply dies Then down it will flow Like tears from my eyes That run down below And become my demise In this cold they become snow Slow me down and make me despise Everything that I have come to know From the lowest lows to the highest highs To the point you just want to let go And promise this will be the last sunrise.

Anymore by Vajavoda, literature

Literature

Anymore

How can I give you my trust When I can so easily see your whispers Your sweet words to him fill me with disgust Your caring for each other breaks and withers You try and say there is nothing That I truly have nothing to worry about But when he calls you go running And that my dear is why I doubt Your love for me may be true But I sense that your love of him is greater All I wanted was to say I do To my most beautiful manipulator Maybe I should go back To the way things were before Let myself again crack And forget I felt anything anymore.

Alone With My Tombstone by Vajavoda, literature

Literature

Alone With My Tombstone

The pain in these words unsaid The terror in these thoughts unending It just continues to spread like a web In the face of all the pretending So easily excused with one simple word Sweet nothings hidden behind your just a friend How strange friend and lover have blurred And I am the one who is the stranger in the end Yet still these words will remain unspoken Just as I will remain seated quiet and alone My voice just as my heart too broken I will end up being my own tombstone

Devil's Due by Vajavoda, literature

Literature

Devil's Due

I can feel the pain in my hand As I thirst for a little smoke My only way to reprimand Though I think it might be broke But I’d rather feel the hurt If the only other option is you Just let me fall in the dirt Fall out of your view I can’t stand who I am Not a man but a DEVIL I don’t know when it began At your tears or your treble Just walk away from this Hell Just let me sit and burn It’s not a sad farewell But a lesson all learn There is nothing good inside of me Nothing to try and redeem Don’t just leave you must flee Or again I’ll make you scream.

Goodbye My Paradise by Vajavoda, literature

Literature

Goodbye My Paradise

I lost my paradise tonight When I heard the hushed whisper It came down like a bite From a lover now drifter I don’t know what is right Should I forgive and forget Anger so hot it might ignite If it wasn’t for the tears that kept it wet So many rain clouds I can’t see daylight I’ve lost my light at the end of the tunnel The demons are coming to try and incite And pull apart my humanity to rubble The devil in me can’t take another slight He demands a scar for every lie An overwhelming kind of blight Only thing I can do is say goodbye I don’t want to go through another fight I don’t want to give you

Crumbling Titan by Vajavoda, literature

Literature

Crumbling Titan

All I see is blue Behind all these tears Making my vision askew Every drop for all my fears I really do try Even though all I do is fail Makes me ask why I even would want to exhale Every breath is a struggle A fight that I always thought I'd win But now I can barely mumble Head so heavy I just can't raise my chin You were my anchor Holding my soul here to remind I don't have to feel only anger That I'm not always left behind But your words only tighten Venom dripping lips a noose You slowly destroy this titan Even though I love my Zeus.

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